Parents behaving badly!!
Posted on June 23, 2011 12:00:00am, by Gerrianne Clare
Do you take out your frustrations on the ones you love?
Today’s parent is under tremendous pressure. Not only do you need to bring home the pay check in a tight economy, build a business, meet deadlines and be the best parent in the world, you also are expected to be kind, politically correct, and even tempered.
Do you work hard to appear confident, capable and self assured at work then find yourself crazed, confused and out of control at home?
On a typical day, how many times do you find yourself biting your tongue while trying to brush off the attitudes and behaviors of others?
When you are faced with people behaving badly, it is sometimes hard to know what to do. You can’t just blast them every time they irritate you as this will not make for the best of working conditions. But yet, what you are feeling inside is very real.
When you hold these negative experiences inside, the energy builds and builds and builds until it gets to a point it needs to release. And since you are concerned with appearances at work, this release often comes when you get home and you let go of the mask.
You end up taking out your frustrations on the ones you love by yelling at them or some other way of behaving badly.
Then the guilt sets in, you resolve to never yell again, and beat yourself up for not having more control.
You may wonder how come I understand you so well. The answer is “I have been there in spades”. I used to be a yeller with my kids and I hated it. I would hold in all of my frustrations from work and then get home and yell at my kids, and worse yet, I would say things I would later regret. I felt gross. Every day I would resolve to be better the next and the cycle would repeat.
How did I change this? The first thing I did was to make a commitment that it was going to change, once and for all. Then I went searching for tools. With a lot of self reflection, coaching, commitment and tools I have found ways to help me release this negative energy “in the moment it is occurring” so it does not get a chance to build.
Are you tired of being a parent behaving badly? Do you want that to change?
Have you found ways to discharge the negative stuff in your life so you don’t take it out on the ones you love?
I would love to hear from you.